I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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