Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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