Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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