either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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