its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
