I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
