I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
cat food counts as protein by the way
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
