Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
