can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
