First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize