So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
