Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize