I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
