I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
A+ Viking dick
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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