You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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