So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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