You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
