you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
