Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Randomize
