Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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