She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
