the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They have beer where we have blood.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize