I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
