This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
