I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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