4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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