Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
