Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
