I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
