i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
