no, he came in my armpit
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm getting married
To pizza
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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