We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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