I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
