So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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