How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's never too late to be topless.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
be right there i have to get my cape
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
