Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
