Pappa wants mamma naked
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You're like the curious george of whores
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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