My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
