Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize