just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
