I hope mine doesn't look like that
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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