i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He passed out mid-signature
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
