Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
