What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm like, not good at living.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
