The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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