he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I look better un-naked...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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