Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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