It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
