found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
