I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize