I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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