I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
