at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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