Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
