PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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