I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
