TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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