were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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