Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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